Unleashing Our Boldest Desires
As my birthday nearly coincides with the date that COVID-19 was declared a global pandemic last year, I’ve recently been faced with a loving question from my family and friends about how I wanted to celebrate. Get together with my pod and eat more yummy food, was the simple answer, but the “wash-rinse-repeat” nature of this pandemic-celebration felt dim on my joy radar. I finally realized that there were multiple questions here that I was grappling with. I offer these to you, in case they resonate —
What kind of celebration feels authentic and centers joy amidst all the pain, loss, and heartbreak of this time?
How do I/we love to be loved?
What do I/we really want/to receive?
How do I/we ask for it?
So in classic Nitika fashion, I turned to writing and meditation to seek the answers within. What I found was that I was squashing my Big, True Desires because I thought they weren’t accessible! But that’s such a limiting way to live! And as a coach, we are taught to find those barriers within ourselves and our clients, and move past them. Then I also realized, if movements leaders thought this way, we’d never get to full, true liberation.
So here’s what I actually want, all the Boldest Desires unleashed —
Art by Sarah Abbott
i want to live consistently from a Loving Center i want universal healthcare and universal basic income for all people everywhere i want a minimum wage of $25/hour for all i want to spend healing and joyful time with my family and friends in beautiful places, the ones we call home and the ones we visit i want the activities we choose to nourish our bodies and souls in the long-term, as we make new memories i want to keep working hard for what matters a lot to me i want to stop and cheer loudly every single time we have a meaningful victory i want to celebrate every upheld boundary i want to be listened to deeply i want all of us to be believed i want shared cooking, shared meals, shared reproductive labor i want child rearing to be collective and easeful, and balanced with our other work in the world i want healing sex, for all survivors especially i want an intergenerational learning and loving community i want my writing, speaking, words, intentions & heart-waves to flow freely i want to connect with kindred spirits everywhere i want to be loved, cherished, cared for with ease and joy, with openness and mutuality i want to love everyone unabashedly i want to feel the bliss of connection with Source, soaring and free i want to go on fabulous adventures and wander the world exploring all the natural wonders i want to float up in a hot air balloon i want to keep exploring and discovering locally i want to eat many delicious vegetarian foods from all over the world i want to spend a lot of time on/in/near water maybe one day i’ll live by the sea i want to fall in love, stay steady in loving and growing through challenges, believe in longevity and sustain my true self in it i want my friendships to restore us/me i want to forgive humbly and freely i want my forgiveness to keep including me i want to pick myself up after failure, and try again, and again, without defeat i want to climb a mountain and enjoy the view/awe from the top i want to enjoy every rest stop, with sandwiches and water with the friend who travels this road with me i want to savor every pause, take moments to cherish, absorb, reflect all of life’s beauty i want to breathe more deeply i want to read, to learn, to lead with faith, humor and humility i want to surrender to grace, before, after and when the hard work is being done i want to be wholly seen, for my strengths and struggles too, not just the surfaces of skin i want a great local holistic doctor, who can blend their expertise with my needs and resources, address challenges together, and guide me towards a healing life/body path i want to sleep well and deeply through the night i want to keep enjoying my beautiful morning rituals daily – yoga, shower, prayer, meditation, writing over coffee i want to continue living in a sacred space, a sanctuary for healing and creativity and community i want to love you forever, even if/when our relationships and roles change drastically i want you to know how magnificent you are in complete simplicity i want all of us to be treated with dignity i want our joy to be as core as justice and equity i want spirit to be as visible and central as the Sun in our galaxy I want Safety, Freedom, Dignity, Joy, Justice, Agency, Shelter, Abundance, Opportunity, Access for all people everywhere i want global peace *
Happy Birthday to me, and my entire Pisces community :)